Unleash Your Motivation: The Transformative Force of Finding Your 'Why' for Behavior Change
For the past year my four-year-old granddaughter has been in the “why” phase, asking a continuous cycle of “Why?” in response to my every statement. While this is cute at first, the barrage of questioning easily becomes exhausting and annoying. I have to admit my realization that at times I don’t have an accurate answer for her, which is frustrating. I don’t want to be like my parents and say, “Because I said so” or “Just because” (which I have done!)
I get it, she’s just trying to understand how things work to make sense of the world. Well, I can relate to that too! There are so many things going on in this world that I can’t make sense of.
Children's "why" questions often delve into the root causes of things—they want to know why something happens or why it's a certain way. There is a fascinating similarity between our quest to understand our "why" for behavior change and a child's "why" stage of development.
Just like children during their "why" stage, when we embark on behavior change, we're essentially exploring the "why" behind our actions. Our journey to understand our "why" for behavior change is a process of continuous learning and self-discovery.
WHY YOUR “WHY” IS CRUCIAL FOR BEHAVIOR CHANGE
Your "why" refers to the underlying reasons, motivations, or goals behind the behaviors you want to change. Many experts, thought leaders, and authors have addressed this topic of “why” with the belief that your why is what inspires you into action, how you explain your purpose, and the reason you exist and behave as you do!
5 Reasons “Why” Is Important For Behavior Change
Motivation: Your "why" provides you with the motivation to change. When you have a clear understanding of why you want to change a behavior, it can fuel your determination and perseverance, especially during challenging times.
Direction: Knowing your "why" gives you a sense of direction. It helps you set specific goals and prioritize actions that align with your ultimate objectives. Without a clear understanding of why you want to change, you may struggle to stay focused and may not make meaningful progress.
Resilience: Having a strong "why" can help you overcome obstacles and setbacks. When faced with difficulties or temptations, reminding yourself of your underlying reasons for change can strengthen your resolve and help you stay on track. (I rely on this one a lot!)
Sustainability: Behavior change is often a long-term process. Your "why" can help you maintain your commitment to change over time. By continually reconnecting with your motivations, you can sustain your efforts and avoid reverting to old habits.
Self-awareness: Exploring your "why" can deepen your self-awareness and understanding of your values, beliefs, and priorities. This self-awareness can empower you to make more intentional choices and align your actions with your true desires.
Think about it. When you're crystal clear on why you want to make a change, suddenly, that snooze button doesn't seem so tempting. That bag of chips loses its appeal. That couch starts to look more like a pit stop than a final destination.
10 Questions To Ask Yourself To Determine Your “Why”
Finding your why requires the practice of self-awareness. Asking yourself the right questions can be incredibly helpful in identifying and solidifying your "why." Here are some prompts to get you started:
What do I want to change? Start by identifying the specific behavior or habit you want to change. Whether it's related to health, relationships, career, personal development, or any other aspect of your life, pinpointing the target is the first step.
Why is this change important to me? Dig deep and reflect on why this particular change matters to you. How will it enhance your life, relationships, or well-being? What benefits do you envision experiencing as a result of this change?
What are the consequences of not making this change? Consider the potential negative outcomes or missed opportunities if you continue with the status quo. How will your life be impacted if you don't take action to make this change? Download this worksheet to help you discern the consequences and benefits when considering a change.
What values or principles does this change align with? Explore how this change connects to your core values, beliefs, and principles. Does it align with your desire for growth, integrity, health, freedom, connection, or something else?
Who or what am I doing this for? Reflect on the people, causes, or aspirations that inspire you to make this change. Are you doing it for yourself, your loved ones, your community, or a greater purpose?
What do I stand to gain emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually from this change? Consider how this change will positively impact various aspects of your life, including your emotional well-being, physical health, mental clarity, and spiritual growth.
How does this change fit into my long-term vision or goals? Think about how this change aligns with your broader aspirations and vision for your life. How does it contribute to the person you want to become and the life you want to live in the future?
What obstacles or challenges might I encounter along the way? Anticipate potential roadblocks or resistance that could hinder your progress. How will your "why" help you overcome these obstacles and stay committed to your goals?
What will achieving this change mean to me personally? Envision yourself successfully making this change. How will it make you feel? What sense of accomplishment, fulfillment, or empowerment do you anticipate experiencing?
How will my life be different once I've made this change? Paint a vivid picture of your life after successfully implementing this change. What improvements, opportunities, or transformations do you envision?
Take your time to ponder these questions and journal your responses. The more clarity you gain on your "why," the more empowered you'll be to embark on your journey of change with purpose and conviction.
LASTING CHANGE LIES AHEAD
In essence, both the exploration of our "why" for behavior change and a child's "why" stage share a common thread of curiosity, seeking understanding, uncovering root causes, intrinsic motivation, and continuous learning. Embracing this similarity can help us approach behavior change with a sense of openness, and willingness to explore the deeper motivations that drive our actions.
To really serve you, your why needs to be authentic. Because behavior change is challenging, your reason(s) for change has to be stronger than your reason(s) to stay the same. In order to get better with change, we need to lean into the discomfort of change, knowing that something greater lies beyond the process.
I encourage you to have the child-like curiosity to know and understand your why. Explore and dig deep; don’t stop investigating to find the answers to your why (which can be exhausting). Once you truly figure out your why, it will stay front and center, moving you into lasting change and success!